I became a fan of Pinky McKay after reading her down-to-earth articles on bellybelly.com.au whilst I was pregnant with my son so I was pleased to see her new book Toddler Tactics: How to make magic from mayhem had been released. Its timing could not have been better as my son had recently celebrated his first birthday and graduated from baby to toddler.
Pinky McKay is a lactation consultant, infant massage i
nstructor, author and columnist specialising in parenting and baby care. Her books include Parenting By Heart and Sleeping Like a Baby.
Toddler Tactics is an easy and reasonably quick read; I finished it in a few hours. However, for a small book it’s incredible how much useful information it contains. Topics include toddlers’ physical development, behaviour, play, learning and sleeping, to name but a few.
It’s the kind of book that can also be used as a reference to be consulted later as your child grows and new challenges arise. For example, I’ll be revisiting the chapter on toilet training in a year or two.
McKay has a gentle approach to parenting. Her advice doesn’t come with a ‘Do it this way or your child will be forever ruined’ footnote. She doesn’t aim to add to the pressure already on parents who are often already feeling guilty or inadequate for one reason or another. Rather she provides answers to a lot of the questions many parents will have about their toddlers with a guiding hand and some common sense advice. For instance, tips for encouraging healthy eating include: don’t put too much food on your child’s plate, and let your toddler help prepare food and some things parents can do to support their toddler’s speech include: name everything, listen, exaggerate speech sounds
Toddler Tactics is peppered with first-hand accounts from parents of toddlers sharing their experiences and their own toddler tactics which are often quite touching and very helpful in themselves.
McKay does have some parenting do’s and don’ts however they are do’s and don’ts that I don’t think any conscientious parent could disagree with. For example: don’t label children, use rewards rather than bribery, support don’t criticise. Even though these are all common sense principles, as a parent, it helps to be reminded sometimes.
Whilst there is a lot of useful advice and information in this book I think the most important thing I learnt from it is to always try looking at things from my child’s perspective. For instance, McKay gives parents a reality check with regards sharing:
Do you lend your friend your car, your computer or your brand-new shoes? Isn’t it a bit unrealistic to expect your toddler to willingly part with his favourite toys whenever a strange child visits? (p93)
Point taken. And she reminds parents that very young children are simply not able to understand the concept of sharing, this capacity doesn’t develop until about three years of age. So in other words, ‘Lighten up Mum and Dad!’
And McKay has this advice for playtime:
Give children a few minutes’ warning that it’s nearly time to stop playing, rather than insisting they pack up now! Imagine how you would feel if you were busily working at a task and somebody ordered you to stop immediately! (p119)
Toddler Tactics is a must-read for all parents, and soon-to-be parents, of toddlers.
Publisher: Penguin Australia
RRP: $24.95
