Review: Talk to the Hand: The Utter Bloody Rudeness of Everyday Life (or six good reasons to stay home and bolt the door) by Lynne Truss

As Lynne Truss clearly states in her introduction, Talk to the Hand: The Utter Bloody Rudeness of Everyday Life (or six good reasons to stay at home and bolt the door) is not a guide to good manners. In fact, if you need some assistance behaving badly then this is the book for you. Truss’ stories of self-important sales assistants, inappropriate mobile phone conversations and playing 20 questions with hard-to-get party guests will have you offending with the best of them.

The book’s title is evidence enough that this isn’t a highbrow, academic analysis of the decay of social mores. Truss makes no attempt to hide the fact that she’s having a good old-fashioned whinge. But it is a very funny whinge and I couldn’t help but identify with many of the situations that Truss describes.

Her main objective in writing Talk to the Hand is to shed some light on her six bugbears of rude behaviour and perhaps save the world from ‘philistinism and yobbery’ in the process. Unfortunately, it’s highly unlikely that the philistines and yobs will be rushing out to purchase this book so Truss may not be saving the world any time soon.

But don’t think that this is a book for Sunday school fuddy-duddies either; even if you’re a cynical Generation Xer or Yer you’ll find something in Talk to the Hand to relate to. And just as Truss managed to make commas and semi-colons laugh-out-loud hilarious in her bestseller Eats, Shoots & Leaves so she brings the same candid wit to Talk to the Hand. (You’ve really got to admire someone who sells more than three million copies of a book about punctuation.)

In the chapter, ‘Why am I the One Doing This?’ Truss tells of her frustration with companies that take the DIY philosophy to the extreme and make the customer do all the work. Her description of getting her new credit card authorised over the phone had me laughing in sympathy. So fed up has Truss become with the DIY approach that when she sees signs for “Pick Your Own Strawberries” she shouts “No, I won’t bloody pick my own bloody strawberries! You bloody pick them for me!”

In talking about the universal eff-off reflex Truss laments parents’ failure to instil a sense of accountability and shame in their children and gives a satirical take on a visit to Uncle Robert’s house:

“Say hi to Bob, kids. Yes, darling, this is the man we call Fatty Bob, how clever you are to remember. Now, why don’t you all run off and see how many things beginning with the letter H you can collect for mummy? All right, Freddie, you can use a screwdriver. Take your sticky drinks with you, darlings, that’s right.”

I suspect one of the reasons Truss wrote Talk to the Hand was as a form of self-therapy; it must have felt good to finally vent all her peeves and frustrations about the bad manners of which she’s been the victim. But she does manage to justify her sometimes-ranting by making references to the theories and observations of other social commentators.

Talk to the Hand is a light, humorous read which provides a nice break from the usual non-fiction fare. If you enjoyed Eats, Shoots & Leaves then you’ll definitely enjoy this latest offering from Truss. And if you’ve ever been on a train and rolled your eyes at a fellow passenger having a loud and far too private conversation on their mobile phone then get a copy of Talk to the Hand and you’ll realise you’re not alone.